Schedules, Sleep and Sweetness

I must officially be a Mom. I can successfully fall asleep sitting straight up. Anyone who knows me very well knows I'm not a very good sleeper, but after 16 days that have averaged about 4-5 hours of sleep (not to mention all the lack of sleep during pregnancy), come dark-thirty when I snuggle Sister down to get her to close those sweet blue eyes, my head immediately begins to droop.

I'm learning the importance of a schedule. I've always been kind of a type A personality about certain things but having a newborn is bringing it to a whole new level. The pediatrician said it best yesterday. Control the things you can: when she eats, how often her diaper gets changed, what she wears, whether to give her a bottle or to exclusively nurse until I go back to work...but realize she has control over a lot of other things. Whether she immediately refills a diaper after you change her (which she does). How long she eats and whether she'll actually wake up and eat more or if she'll demand to be fed again (or suffer the wrath of a very mad baby) in an hour. She needs a schedule and will be happiest once one is successfully established but realize that it will be a work in progress. We've both only been at this for about two weeks. There's a reason they recommend you stay at home for 6-12 weeks with a newborn...especially if you're breastfeeding. With that being said, things are going quite well. She now weighs 7lbs 7 oz (two ounces more than at birth) and is 21 inches long (she's grown two inches in two weeks!). We can confidently say we're getting the hang of this nursing thing. :)

 

Fact about this sweet little mess:

• Parker Baby is a snuggler.
• This girl is beautifully opinionated (no idea where she gets it).
• She hates being "messed" with.
• If you're gonna give her a bath, change her diaper or put a headband on her, best make sure the sweet little Indian baby has a full belly or you'll hear about it. (I have to say, I adore that about her.)
• She wiggles constantly. Her daddy and I predicted she'd be active, we had no idea how busy a baby could be even when she's asleep.
• She has her Daddy wrapped about her little finger.

When we visited Mike at work yesterday one of his boss' wives made a statement I keep replaying in my head. It wasn't because it's a new thought or something I've never heard before...but I guess it's because she's actually HERE sleeping next to me in her sleeper that it's ringing so true. She was referring to how quickly things change. She said for us not to blink because in an instant she'd be grown up. That we'll miss the days when her happiest place was when she's snuggling on a pillow between us in bed. She talked about how us having Parker made her think back on how it felt when they had their kids and how they thought the nurses were insane to send that baby home with them after only two days. How frighteningly amazing it was for such a small "thing" to be totally dependent on her and her husband for its well-being and happiness. I think the best advice I've heard yet has been to not get so caught up in the feeding/changing/crying/teaching/disciplining that you forget to just LOVE her. That she's made up of half me and half the person I love most in this world and that makes her very worthy of our unconditional love, attention, patience and sacrifice.

My grandma and I were talking a few days ago about how completely precious Parker is and how it feels to be a Mama. I couldn't help but brag and tell her how thankful I am for Mike because he is so very helpful and attentive to both Parker and her Mama. He's full of compliments and genuinely loves spending time cuddling with this sweet little bundle. He's already so protective even of the eating/sleeping/changing schedule because he's seen how hard it is on her when it gets messed up. He's the best Daddy she could ask for.

 My conversation with my grandmother ended with us talking about how I've waited 30 years to be at this place in my life. This time three years ago, I couldn't have imagined things would be as they are. Now I am counting my blessings and thanking my lucky stars for the "perfect for me" family Mikey and I have started.

She's Beautiful

At 39 weeks and 5 days Parker Grace Curtsinger made her debut into the world. Once she decided to come, there was no holding her back. If someone asks me what labor feels like, I'll have to caution them of my description. I went from being dilated to a two and then a four in three hours. I wasn't even sure I was in labor (thanks to all the braxton hicks and crazy bits of discomfort I'd been in for months) until they confirmed my water had broke. It was all downhill from there. Trust me, the pain came. But with it, the little bit of perfection the world didn't even know it was missing.

She arrived completely content and ready to meet the world. No crying. No sleeping for her. Just wide eyed interest. Her Mama waited on edge to hear her voice finally begging for her to be laid down on the bed. The need to hear her after what felt like an eternity of only feeling her was overwhelming. And finally...it came. The most beautiful sound I've ever heard. The tiniest cry that immediately subsided when she was snuggled by the family whom she had already won over.

She's still not much of a crier. Only if she's cold (which means diaper change) or starving. And really who can blame her? Being cold or hungry will make anyone a bit cranky.

She has coal black hair. Dark blue eyes and a pouty bottom lip. She wrinkles up her forehead just like her Mama and when she's in deep sleep her mouth is open just like her Daddy. She loves being warm, snuggled close in the crook of your arm. I'd be willing to bet she'd nearly sleep through the night if her stubborn ol' Mama and Daddy would just let her in their bed.

She is beautiful.

I walked around the first few days muttering those words to Mike. Completely in shock at the tiny miracle whom I delivered. I fell head over heels in love with her to the point of tears. Hell, who am I kidding? As I try to write this just glancing up at her in her sleeper and thinking back on those first couple of days causes what little bit of makeup I've managed to put on to streak down my face.

She was welcome by an amazing assortment of friends and family. From what I hear they nearly caused a fire hazard waiting anxiously outside of labor and delivery to hear of her arrival and to catch a glimpse of her. To appease the crowd, her Daddy escorted her to the nursery for her public debut. She greeted them through the window with wide-eyed interest.

I'm more thankful for her than I'll ever be able to express. It's hard not to stare at her just watching the millions of expressions that cross her face. I do believe this is such a time as to say, "My cup overflows."

She's such a good girl.

I asked Mike the other night if this is how he thought his life would turn out. He said, "No." When I looked at him he quickly added, "This is better, babe."

I do believe, I agree.

Any Day Now...

Mini watermelon. That's what they call a 39 week grown baby. When I told my sister that yesterday she looked at me wide eyed and said in her squeaky little voice, "And that mini watermelon has to come out of your vagina!?"

...yes...yes it does. <gulp> Thanks for pointing that out little sister.

Every sign under the sun says she's gearing up for arrival. Yet, inside she stays. There must be a reason. She's obviously just not ready. Or she's stubborn. I haven't a clue where she would've acquired that quality...so I'm gonna go with, she's just got more cookin' to do. :)

I've seen enough in 30 years to know a baby staying inside and growing all 40 weeks isn't a bad thing. It's when they get too anxious and try to jump start life on the outside that trouble starts.

Let's face it, life on the inside has to be pretty good. You are all snuggled nice and tight. It's climate controlled. You get fed without the trouble of actually eating. All of your needs are taken care of without you even asking. It's when you get out here that things get a little hairy. There are so many attitudes, moods, feelings and motivators in this world it's hard to cope sometimes. Plus it's cold right now. Like wear your moccasins around the house cold.

Yeah...I don't know if I blame her for hanging out as long as she can.

I'm finally better though. I have two pills left from my prescription and then I'm finished. My mouth is returning to normal. I can almost eat again without something cracking and bleeding. Maybe that's what she was waiting on. I asked her to wait until I was healed...well baby girl, I'm nearly there. Now my aches and tears come from pains that seem to be located progressively lower each hour, and from knobby knees and toes that find that perfect spot to prod me in the ribs (by the way on the outside, ribs are ticklish, from the inside...not so much).

Parker baby's daddy is so ready to meet her. He's been a saint. I can only imagine how tough it has been to not only have a 9 going on 10 month pregnant wife (and all that that entails), but a 9 going on 10 month pregnant wife who has also been sicker than she's been in years, not to mention during the holidays.

As crazy as our dating/marriage life started, we have grown into such a beautiful rhythm. As teenage girl icky as it probably sounds, I look at him sometimes and thank my lucky stars God sent him to me. We are both so darn excited about the life and family we are building we can hardly stand it. We can't wait for Parker, but at the same time it's pretty amazing how much we just like our life together. I mean, I woke up on New Years Eve to the guy planning to take me out to dinner just because he wanted us to do something together. While at dinner we planned a Super Bowl party (simply because we are anxious to get together with all our friends) as well as plotted for what we could do for New Years Eve next year. It's pretty incredible to have so many positives in your world that it makes dealing with the kinda mean, ugly manipulative things easier. When I'm upset his instant response is, "Who cares what they think?" or "It's not even worth it." He is 100% supportive and to have someone like that is a breath of fresh air.

Come to think of it, I have a few people in my life who are that way. As someone pointed out the other day, this baby growing has drastically changed the relationships in my world. Unfortunately some are not as strong...but others have grown despite the lack of effort, emotion or energy I've had to put into them. My sister is going to be an amazing Aunt. The girl has gone through some crap this year, but she has gone on more one store shopping trips, pedicure dates and McAlister's/Chili's lunches with me in the past 9 months than we've gone on in the past 9 years. I have a few friends at school whom I have grown to sincerely believe I can count on. They aren't the type of people to say, "It's OK" or "Who cares if you need a sub, go home" if they don't really mean it. They have my back, help in any way they can and are willing to nail someone to the wall if they hear anything being said they feel is unfair or untrue. It's kind of a beautiful thing. When you aren't a beat around the bush/I need to manipulate or lie to you to get what I want kind of girl, it's refreshing when you build true friendships with those same types of people.

Parker is going to have an incredible life when she gets out here. She has so many family members who are excited to meet her but what's just as beautiful is she just a whole assortment of friends who are just like family that she doesn't even know yet. Heck, I don't know some of them yet. Mike and I counted the other day, there are 6 or 7 babies set to be born this Spring to people we know. That's pretty darn exciting.

If there's anything I could tell this little hippo baby it would be, "Life is good, Parker. Not always easy. Not always pretty but simply being born into a home where your Mom & Dad love you more than life itself and would do anything to protect you from the ickyness of this world, sets you up pretty nicely."

Now get your little booty out here. :)