Two Roads

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— 

I took the one less traveled by, 

And that has made all the difference.

Excerpt from The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

A sorority sister gifted me those lines my Senior year of college. Over the years I thought I understood the words and possibly even on occasion took "the road less traveled." While I may have traveled a few winding roads most people wouldn't choose, none of those roads were anything like the one I've been on over the last seven months. 

Kids change everything. The ones you have as well as the ones you lose and also the ones your heart dreams about having one day. A sweet friend said something over lunch that made me realize how much different the world looks to me since becoming a Mom. Time is constantly slipping by. Some people look at time and feel as if they're losing the chance to travel and see the world. I know others who are building their career as fast as they can so they can chase reirement. I respect both desires. Travel. Success. But somewhere along the way soaking up TODAY, my right here, right now took precedence for me. Our sweet babies grow and change so fast. There's such a short time that they truly need you and want to spend their time with you. It seems like life looks very different once a child starts school. Those first five years are so precious. Once those years are up, I'm not sure how long it takes for that child to look at their parents with the love and admiration they once had. Those feelings seem to be replaced with independence, friendship and boundary-pushing. :) While I don't want to miss a minute of any of it, I really, really want to soak up these first few years. 

This has all led me back to the two paths. The easy path...familiar...well lit that leads to an obviously comfortable place. Or the other one. Fairly safe but obviously rocky and much less predictable.  

I'm a safe person by nature. I want the "known." I want to feel like I did the smart thing...but I think maybe my heart and my mind are conflicting. It's like wearing a high heeled shoe on one foot and your favorite running shoe on the other. Both are shoes. Both will take you places, but their destination and the steps in between are nothing alike. 

I want to choose the road less traveled. I want the experience and the life moments that the unpredictable will bring. I want to look back when I'm 50 and know I took smart chances and stretched what God gave me as far as it could go. 

My life has taken a few drastic turns over the years. Some by choice but others by force. The forced ones, the painful ones, left the deepest marks but they're the ones I'll never forget. They're the ones that molded me and caused true growth and change in my life. The road I walk is not alone though. A strong, sturdy hand as well as a precious one filled with curiosity goes with me so this path has to be best for them as well. 

-Sometimes everything

has to be

enscribed across 

the heavens

so you can find

the one line

already written

inside you.

Sometimes it takes

a great sky

to find that

first, bright

and indescribable

wedge of freedom

in your own heart.

-Excerpt from The Journey by David Whyte

Here's to finding our way down the paths we choose and coming out better on the other side.