Changed for Good

Sometimes someone comes into our lives and turns it upside down. There's no rhyme or reason why they are in our realm of influence, or why they take an interest in us; but for whatever reason, they do. As our lives plummet from the direction in which they were headed and organize themselves in the completely new location this mysterious person has shaken them into, the whole cosmic occurance starts to make sense.
My life has been turned upside down a few times in 30 years. Sometimes for good, others not so good. But at the age of 18 I met someone who snatched me out of confusion and planted my feet in love and security. She was a force of nature. I swear sometimes I thought she had the whole dang world spinning like a basketball on her finger; and let me tell you, that was some finger she had. She had so many people wrapped around it I was surprised at times such a tiny limb could support the responsibility. But when someone loves you as wholeheartedly as Sheila did, you kind of wanted to be wrapped up close to her.
I know for a fact her life forever altered the fate of two teenagers. One of those, was me. After high school I couldn't have been more confused about who I was, who I wanted to be or where my life was headed. There were a lot of directions it could've taken, but a season came where my life crossed with Sheila's and my path couldn't have been more obvious. During my time with her, I learned what it meant to give selflessly. To love wholeheartedly just because. I realized that there is ALWAYS enough time for others.
After a couple of years, my walk became sturdy enough to go out on my own again; start college and eventually get a teaching job about an hour from home. Even though I grew, I never outgrew Sheila. When I would see her, usually at camp or church...she still has the same "you hung the moon" look in her eye when she talked to me. I couldn't help but feel loved and important when I was in her presence. My life mattered to her...I don't think I ever questioned that. When I met Mike, even though I had moved away 5 years before, I went home to tell her about him. I still needed her to be a part of my life. We spent hours that night talking at my car, reliving old stories and just reaffirming how strong our bond was. That was the last big "Manda and Sheila talk" we ever had.

Sheila was selfless. She was beautiful. She raised 5 (including Brittany) kids and loved each one wholeheartedly. She was her husband's rock. She was the person her friends and family could turn to whether in happiness or heartbreak. A year ago Sheila found out she had cancer...and a little more than 24 hours ago, she was promoted from organizing and rocking Earth, to singing in the choir and organizing Angels in heaven.
It's been a while since I've spent time with Sheila. But I have spent the past day reliving moments, hearing her voice, rereading her texts and finally realizing just how big of an impact she made on this world...and on me.
My heart goes out to her family...to her children...to her friends...and to Dwayne, who I think loved her most of all.
These lyrics, from a musical (Wicked) have been playing in my head for the past 24 hrs. What makes them even more special is I found out today she loved this production about as much as I did.

I've heard it said

That people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

And we are led

To those who help us most to grow

If we let them

And we help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you:

 

Like a comet pulled from orbit

As it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

I have been changed for good

 

It well may be

That we will never meet again

In this lifetime

So let me say before we part

So much of me

Is made of what I learned from you

You'll be with me

Like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end

I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend:

Like a ship blown from its mooring

By a wind off the sea

Like a seed dropped by a skybird

In a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you:

I have been changed for good.

 

Without a doubt I have been changed for good.